According to Scripture, we are body, soul and spirit. A life that isn't walking by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26), is walking by the flesh. The flesh is a combination of the soul and body. Meaning the body does what the soul alone directs. Soul is considered, fleshy, when we don't allow the Holy Spirit to govern our soul - mind, will and emotions. In scriptures this is called a carnal man. When we allow the Spirit to govern our soul's desires, we are called a spiritual man. (1 Corinthians 3:2-4).
Romans 8:5-7 New King James Version (NKJV)
5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.
A life that is walking by the Spirit, demonstrated by the fruits listed in Galatians 5:22, is a Soul governed by the Spirit. This spiritual governance is when the body can be used for God’s glory, by being in places that can carry out His Spirit to others. This is both a process and a continual growth.
A quenched spirit is a person who is dealing with a lot of carnality.
This is demonstrated when you feel you're not hearing from God, doing things you consider hypocritical to your faith and confession to others, unable to discern deception, and overall being led by your mind or emotions in decisions. Your lifestyle, words and actions are signs of your walking by the Spirit or the Flesh. Sometimes you may feel a quenched Spirit as the old you is passing away for the new you to emerge. For believers, you do not get to walking by the Spirit overnight, you must be willing to begin to discern the flesh, which comes from the Word of God. (Hebrews 4:13).
A symbol of this is two circles. The Soul is the outer circle, inside that is the Spirit which is a circle that can be a dot in the center of the Soul or a large inner circle, representing the flesh, quenching the Spirit, when we're not feeding the Spirit properly. Through the busy culture, we live in, we may be undernourished Spiritually, therefore, feeding the flesh.
How to increase the strength of the Spirit:
Feed the Spirit. The right inputs nurture the spirit and not the flesh. Examples of spiritual inputs include prayer, worship, attending church and prayer services, listening to music that is in the inspirational category, or reviewing sermons from ministers and pastors that you enjoy from youtube.com.
Look at what you are feeding yourself on a spiritual level. It’s interesting to think about the music we are listening to, what is it talking about? What is the input around you feeding, your spirit or your soul? How about what we are watching on tv or movies? Even PG-13 movies are filled with profanity, nudity and fantasy worlds. If you are allowing yourself to watch television programs that help your flesh to grow and your spirit to shrink, consider how you can change your inputs to strengthen your spiritual man. Remember that to have faith, we need hearing, and hearing comes by the Word of God. Therefore, if pay attention to what you are hearing and listening to. When there is little spiritual hearing, there will be little spiritual liveliness.
Pray. A few courageous prayers are: “Lord, help me to grow in the fruit of the Spirit.” Or “Lord show me where my flesh is in control and help me to overcome.” Repeat these types of prayers asking God for help consistently. He is faithful!
Let it go. Don’t make things about you. Make things about the God who created you and desires to advance you. Seek understanding before you react and make decisions. If you sense yourself being out of control, seek counseling to help you. It is important to become conscious to your wants and motivations as this understanding helps you to figure out when flesh is talking verses what is the Spirit talking to you.
Enjoy experiencing a growing and living God within you!
New King James Bible
The Spiritual Man by Watchman Nee
Body, Soul, Spirit by Andrew Womack